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a ridde for you; "you like poetry?" [tuesdayfebruary17th2009@1:48pm]
[ mood | curious ]

"ye-es, pretty well - some poetry," alice said doubtfully.
"would you tell me which road leads out of the woods?"
"what shall i repeat to her?" said tweedledee, looking round at tweedledum with great solemn eyes, and not noticing alice's question. "the walrus and the carpenter is the longest," tweedledum replied, giving his brother an affectionate hug.

tweedledee began instantly:

"the sun was shining -"

here alice ventured to interrupt him, "if it's very long," she said, as politely as she could, "would you please tell me first which road -"
tweedledee smiled gently, and began again:

"the sun was shining on the sea,
shining with all his might:
he did he very best to make
the billows smooth and bright -
and this is odd, because it was
the middle of the night.

the moon was shining sulkily,
because she thought the sun,
had got no business to be there
after the day was done -
'it's very rude of him,' she said,
'to come and spoil the fun!'

the sea was wet as wet could be,
the sands were dry as dry
you could not see a cloud, because
no could was in the sky:
no birds were flying overhead -
there were no birds to fly.

the walrus and the carpenter
were walking close at hand;
they wept like anything to see
such quantities of sand:
'if this were only cleared away,'
they said, 'it would be grand.'

'if seven maids with seven mops,
swept it for half a year,
do you suppose,' the walrus said,
'that they could get it clear?'
'i doubt it,' said the carpenter,
and shed a bitter tear.

'o oysters, come and walk with us!'
the walrus did beseech.
'a pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
along the briny beach:
we cannot do with more than four,
to give a hand to each.'

the eldest oyster looked at him,
but never a word he said:
the eldest oyster winked his eye,
and shook his heavy head -
meaning to say he did not choose
to leave the oyster-bed.

but four young oysters hurried up,
all eager for the treat:
their coats were brushed, their faces washed,
their shoes were clean and neat -
and this was odd, because, you know,
they hadn't any feet.

four other oysters followed them,
and yet another four;
and thick and fast they came at last,
and more, and more, and more -
all hopping through the frothy waves,
and scrambling to the shore.

the walrus and the carpenter
walked on a mile or so,
and then they rested on a rock
conveniently low:
and all the little oysters stood
and waited in a row.

'the time has come,' the walrus said,
'to talk of many things:
of shoes - and ships - and sealing-wax -
of cabbages - and kings -
and why the sea is boiling hot -
and whether pigs have wings.'

'but wait a bit,' the oysters cried,
'before we have our chat;
for some of us are out of breath,
and all of us are fat!'
'no hurry!' said the carpenter.
they thanked him much for that.

'a loaf of bread,' the walrus said,
'is what we chiefly need:
pepper and vinegar besides
are very good indeed -
now if you're ready, oysters dear,
we can begin to feed.'

'but not on us!' the oysters cried,
turning a little blue,
'after such kindness, that would be
a dismal thing to do!'
'the night is fine,' the walrus said.
'do you admire the view?'

'it was so kind of you to come!
and you are very nice!'
the carpenter said nothing but:
'cut us another slice:
i wish you were not quite so deaf,
i've had to ask you twice!'

'it seems a shame,' the walrus said,
'to play them such a trick,
after we've brought them out so far,
and made them trot so quick!'
but the carpenter said nothing but
'the butter's spread too thick!'

'i weep for you,' the walrus said,
'i deeply sympathize.'
with sobs and tears he sorted out
those of the largest size,
holding his pocket-handkerchief
before his streaming eyes.

'o oysters,' said the carpenter.
'you've had a pleasant run!
shall we be trotting home again?'
but answer came there none -
and this was scarcely odd, because,
they'd eaten every one."

"i like the walrus best," said alice: "because you see he was a little sorry for the poor oysters."
"he ate more than the carpenter, though, said tweedledee. "you see he held his handkerchief in front, so that the carpenter couldn't count how many he took: contrariwise."
"that was mean!" alice said indignantly. "then i like the carpenter best - if he didn't eat so many as the walrus."
"but he ate as many as he could get," said tweedledum.

so a question for you! which character from the walrus & the carpenter" do you more admire? i've been debating this for the past day and a half, regardless of how absurd it may be. maybe this decision will come in handy someday!

my extension cord wouldn't reach that far.. [tuesdaynovember25th2008@5:55pm]
[ mood | new ]

i feel pretty awful as of lately. it could be the extreme amount of drugs i've been pumping into myself, or my lack of ability to let go; no matter HOW FUCKED UP I AM, i can still think. i guess i should take this as a blessing, because i need to get myself out of this cycle.

growing up is a lot more than i ever anticipated.. recently, i've learned that over time you learn the meaning of "hatred" lies more in the meaning of "misunderstood", and that "good" and "bad" are only adjectives for an event perceived through the eyes of another to help you comprehend their feelings for the situation. i've known this all along, really, but never really believed myself.

i won't let the events that have made me feel "bad" this year take back the "good" things i've learned about myself.


so i am not the smartest of people i suppose.

i don't want to go through the explanation of my stupidity. basically, i am bad at wording how i feel. i try to explain my complete emotion, but either it's not good enough or i'm full of shit, i'm not quite sure of which.

lewis does not seem to be happy anymore. he got incredibly mad at me this morning, and this afternoon/evening i drove a LOT. a lot is 300+ miles. i thought a lot.

if he is not ready for this relationship, then i am just going to end it. he said tonight that he doesn't have time for a girlfriend; that when he told me how he felt he had no job, and he was excited. HE WAS EXCITED THAT SOMEONE LIKED HIM! so excited, apparently, he blurted out emotions he didn't know if he fully felt. he held my hand, kissed me, said he'd wait for me to be ready; within the same week his tongue is swirling around mine - and of course, i am dumb and did not fight it! and the next night, we're having sex at our "spot", which is the goleta slough. next thing i know, he tells me he loves me and we spend pretty much every waking second together. and i asked him, r e p e a t e d l y.

is this what you want?
are you sure?
be careful, please. don't rush into anything.
and he did anyways.
and made me believe he was ready for this.
he said he was ready.
why do i have to be this fool?

i am pretty distraught.
i can't sleep.
i don't want to wake up again.
i'm not suicidal, i just don't want to think for a while.
i just want a break.
i want to run so far away to where nobody knows my name, and change it to something i've never told anyone so they couldn't find me. and i hate feeling that way. i hate thinking that i need to run so i can't be hurt.

make this go away.
cmt _5

i told them both & i don't care if they never talk to me again.
cris thinks i care whether or not lewis likes me.
he cared whether or not jamie liked him, broke up with me for her w/out telling me his true feelings, then decided she was a piece of shit and he wanted me.
i told cris on sunday night because i was too coked out and freaked out from this crazy dream i had about cris, lewis and i.
then yesterday afternoon i went and told lewis.
then we all went to the beach, and i didn't talk to either of them.
i hate this all and i want to leave lompoc. i don't want either of them anymore, they can have each other. cris is too angry. he is too unmotivated. and lewis is one of his best friends. i am not a girl like that. i can't be. i need to leave.

? [tuesdayjune10th2008@7:29am]
[ mood | weak ]

i don't know what to do.
i argue with you,
and then look away at him.
i can't have him - he can't have me.
we're stuck in this family bond.
i want out now, he does not.
i want out, and they do not.
you still love me,
i don't think i love you.
i know i don't love him.
i'll never let myself because he will never love me back.
because of this bond.
i don't want to cry anymore.

cmt _1

Writer's Block: Good Catch [fridaymarch21st2008@1:11pm]
Do you have a "catch phrase" for which you are known?

speaking of good catches,
remoraCollapse )

Writer's Block: My Own Creation [fridayfebruary15th2008@8:35pm]
If you could create anything artistic, what would it be?

a new universeCollapse )

from wikipedia:

A nebula (from Latin: "mist" [1]; pl. nebulae or nebulæ, with ligature or nebulas) is an interstellar cloud of dust, hydrogen gas and plasma. It is the first stage of a star's cycle.

trendy title one. [mondayfebruary11th2008@1:20pm]
while this is friends only, don't add me.
i won't add you.
unless we've previously spoken, of course.

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